To My Son

This post is a bit more serious/sentimental that my other posts but I'll quickly return to humor in my next one.. called Med School Years I and II, a recap.

Basically, I'd like to write some thoughts, tips, anecdotes as if I were speaking to my son:

You can be too smart. I remember reading in my middle school yearbook. "Sometimes you're too smart for your own good." The key to being smart is being smart enough to keep quiet sometimes. Not every question needs to be answered or every mistake corrected. Relish the moments when someone asks you a question and you are fortunate enough to know the answer. This is one of the reasons I want to be a doctor. I'd like to be blessed enough to "know the answer" and help someone.

Nice guys finish last is the biggest bunch of crap ever. Listen, nice guys do just fine. Sure the alpha males and cocky guys will charm the ladies. But at the end of the day , we can take care of business and provide. Plus, it's not always about the return. Don't hold the door open for the girl or tell her to text you when she gets home because you hope she'll fall for you. Do it because you know it's right. Karma, God , whatever you call it, prevails. Your friends deserve an open door and occasional compliment and you'll get one too when you most need it.

Being a nice guy doesn't mean you fold easily or are a wimp. Stand for what you believe in and with conviction. Yeah, we work out too. Chivalry is about holding the door open but it's also about slaying the dragon.

There's always time for family and friends and most importantly , God. Work hard and be the best you can be but that is not a mutually exclusive ideal. I've been in school the better part of my life. I like to do well.. but I also like to make my family laugh, be there for my friends and be at peace with God.

Be able to laugh at most anything. Try to be able to make anybody laugh, it's a priceless talent.

"Wit beyond measure is man's greatest treasure" - Motto of Ravenclaw and life. Wit is about delivery, content and timing. The right thing said at the right moment with right expression, priceless. It combines two important elements: humor and intelligence.

Learn to listen. Learn to listen. [yeah, I repeated it twice]. Two ears, one mouth kinda deal. Listening lets you learn more about a person, it also tells them you're willing to put them over you. People love a good listener. It also lets you be thoughtful when you incorporate things you've gleaned from listening. Alot of times, people need to hear what they say reflected back... my best friends are often those who listen to whatever I throw at them.

Learn to make a fool of yourself and not care. As long as you don't seriously hurt yourself or others. Making people laugh, and sacrificing some dignity is great. Not only do you entertain.. you make for a great story to tell later.

Write, draw, sing, play music. Express yourself in some manner, it helps to see what you feel and for others to appreciate your art.

Struggle to find the good in someone. Remember random things. We thrive off being cared for, so why not care for someone else. Simple gestures at the right time mean alot. I don't know how many times some days seem to plummet downhill or things just pile up and someone just says the right thing to keep you going or warm you up.

Be honest with yourself and with others. Honesty doesn't have to hurt. Honesty is best coupled with another virtue, diplomacy. Telling someone they're wrong is honest but suggesting that you remember seeing/reading something to the contrary but aren't sure is diplomatic.

Don't be self-deprecating. It's hard to do when you never seem to match up to the jock, look like Brad Pitt or can't quite pull of the John Nash genius. The fact is , you do have attributes that people like.. and you need to play to these strengths.

Lastly, remember you are blessed/fortunate. If you can read this post, breathe air, sit in a chair.. you are better off than someone else. God has made sure of that so appreciate it.. and when you do, God tends to give you more.